Two of the funniest things South Africans tried to sell online.

                          1..

 

“Urgent! Summer is almost here and my legs are hairy as a monkey’s butt from winter, so I am looking for someone to shave it off for me. It’s going to be hot, and I need to shave off my hair jersey. I will pay well. Please note I have serious hair. Lawnmower-breaking stuff. I absolutely hate shaving my legs, and wax hurts too much (I’ve tried).

I’m willing to pay someone to come to my house and shave them for me, maybe twice a week.  I’ll take a shower so my legs and hair are clean and soft (or at least as much as possible). But for the initial shave it’s usually most successful if we do an additional good scrubbing when you get here right before we start cutting down the trees, so the first scrubbing and shaving usually takes a few hours. Picture included for to give you an idea of the task at hand. The other times should be more like 30 minutes, but you’re welcome to stay.
I’ll provide all the equipment you’ll need, like shaving foam, body scrub, towels, veet razor, and lotion (for afterwards – gotta get my silk on). All you need is yourself and your awesome shaving skills.  The pay is negotiable, but seeing as this is a long term project, maybe I can pay per month. Get in touch and let’s get my legs looking sexy for Tiger Tiger this season!  Serious inquiries only. No pervs – I’m all man.”
Bryanston, Johannesburg




                                                          2

KDX for sale: R10,000

 “Excellent Condition, Great Runner, low on fuel
Top Speed: 160km/h being towed by car
Brake System: Takkie between fork and front tyre
Average Gas usage: 0 liters per km but heavy on takkies
Have some minor scratches as I fell myself in my moer in being towed and overtaking the car at the stop
Petrol lever sometimes sticks causing some frustration
You need to tighten the chain with a wire so the back wheel will turn freely, otherwise you will fall and die
Paint job is custom faded green from the sun at no extra cost
Overall great condition but the seller takes no responsibility after it leaves the yard
Please note that average speed will depend on how fast you can run and the brakes depends on the quality of your takkies’ soles
Includes emergency brake, if you’re not gonna make it, just put your foot down on the sidestand and lean towards that side for an abrupt stop” Graaff-Reinet, Eastern Cape   

To be honest i have never laughed so had the way i did after reading this  because i still don't see the engine of the motorbike in the picture LOL and he said the bike is in an Excellent condition..